Crossing the oceans

It’s time my friend: I’m leaving tomorrow. My next post will be from Canada.

I have been asked how I feel like. Surprisingly, until some days ago I was a kind of indifferent, neither excited nor worried, basically emotionless.
There was just some bother due to the necessity to leave again. I would have liked to stay in Italy, but you only deal with dreams once you close your eyes to sleep and now, frankly to get a decent job in Italy is nothing more or less than a dream.

I thought the departures and being quite used to the airports and their human fauna had forged somehow my soul.
No matter how you can be a brave and experienced sailor, when it comes the storm, you can’t pretend nothing happens.

I’m scared, it’s stupid do deny it. I have emotional heavy seas now: an ocean (for real, not only metaphorically) to cross, hundreds of CVs (or as Canucks say, résumés) to send, a limited amount of time to get a job in a competitive market where I know nobody and I’m not a native speaker.
Some years ago, when I was in Ireland, I used to think about Canada as a possible alternative to Ireland (and yes, one day I’ll write a post on why I chose Canada rather than Malaysia, New Zealand, or whatever other country). It was an idea already on my mind, but more as something to do maybe on a whim rather than a real plan. When I went to Vancouver in 2009 as a tourist I thought that and experience there could be feasible, but still inside me I wanted to get back to Italy and find a job there.
Now, inside me I just feel the awareness Italy is a losing bet at the moment. Canada is no more an idea, a dream or a whim: it’s a necessity, a bet, and it’s up to me to win it.